Tomorrow

Compulsive Gambler
I know I am not supposed to look ahead and I need to take it one day at a time, however, tomorrow I have a court appointment and it is very difficult not to look ahead. My mom has always said, "expect the worst but hope for the best". I am going to do exactly this because each time I have been to court only bad things happen. I really don't know what is going to happen tomorrow because I have not spoken to my attorney in over a week. He mentioned something previously about the Deputy DA wanting to discuss the bail payment again. My attorney assured me that this is not a problem because it has been discussed previously. I learned not to take anything for granted. I have also learned that justice does not move swiftly in fact it creeps along. Going to court makes me recount how insane I was in the previous two years. Any compulsive disorder makes you do insane things and with those insane things come consequences. I am going to face serious consequences for those actions and additionally many other people will face consequences as well. I apologize to everyone for my horrible actions. Also, thank you to everyone that has wished my will and their prayers. People are amazing and unfortunately I did not realize how good I had it. I took a lot of things for granted. I have a wonderful family from my wife to my children to my mom, dad, sisters, mother-in-law, brother-in-law, sister-in-law, everyone and also two WONDERFUL friends. These WONDERFUL friends are truly Saints and I love them. Again, thank you and I will get through this a much much better person.

Tomorrow

I know I am supposed to take it one day at a time but tomorrow is a court appointment. I have no idea what will happen and I really can't think too much about because if I do those bad thoughts will enter my mind. My mom has always said; "expect the worst but hope for the best". That is what I am going to do. Each previous time I have gone to court only bad things have happened so why should it be any different. I really don't know what we will be discussing because I have not spoken to my lawyer in over a week. The assistant DA wants to look at the bail (again) but my attorney states that it is a moot point. We discussed the bail at a previous hearing and I thought we would move on. One thing I have learned about our justice system is it moves very slow. My addiction to gambling caused all of my problems. I was always looking for the easy way out and in a delusional way I am still hoping for a miracle. I made this mess and I have to suffer the consequences. Unfortunately there are some many other people that are also suffering the consequences and to all of them I am so very sorry. Additionally, thank you to everyone for their heartfelt thoughts and prayers, I really do appreciate everything.

Compulsive Gambler

Compulsive Gambler
Each day passes quicker than the previous one; however; I am still no closer to any decision than I was a month ago. I know I cannot change yesterday and I cannot predict the future all I have is today and I am taking it one day at time. It is very difficult to live with what I have done to my family. I took a seemingly perfect life and turned it upside down. I know my children don't care how big their house is or whether or not they have a pool. My seven year old daughter stated that she wanted to live in the car or maybe we could get a minivan or one of those big trailers (RV). All she cared about was whether her family was all together. I do want to give my children some type of consistency and teach them responsibility and accountability. I will take full accountability for what I have done and take the consequences that come. I made a large mistake and will have to pay for it both financially and psychologically. If there is anyone out there that thinks they have a gambling problem please seek help before the disease takes over your life. Here is the Gambler's Anonymous website: http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ Interestingly enough it is thought that the United States has 7 million compulsive gamblers (I think this number is understated and could be double or triple) and only 200 beds to care for those 7 million problem gamblers. The World Poker Tour and video gaming are very hot. The generation under 25 maybe headed for a crisis in 3 to 5 years as these people realize that you really do lose money. What if Budweiser sponsored The World Drinking Tour? Do you think the Travel Channel world air that event?

Compulsive Gambler

Compulsive Gambler
Each day passes quicker than the previous one; however; I am still no closer to any decision than I was a month ago. I know I cannot change yesterday and I cannot predict the future all I have is today and I am taking it one day at time. It is very difficult to live with what I have done to my family. I took a seemingly perfect life and turned it upside down. I know my children don't care how big their house is or whether or not they have a pool. My seven year old daughter stated that she wanted to live in the car or maybe we could get a minivan or one of those big trailers (RV). All she cared about was whether her family was all together. I do want to give my children some type of consistency and teach them responsibility and accountability. I will take full accountability for what I have done and take the consequences that come. I made a large mistake and will have to pay for it both financially and psychologically. If there is anyone out there that thinks they have a gambling problem please seek help before the disease takes over your life. Here is the Gambler's Anonymous website: http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ Interestingly enough it is thought that the United States has 7 million compulsive gamblers (I think this number is understated and could be double or triple) and only 200 beds to care for those 7 million problem gamblers. The World Poker Tour and video gaming are very hot. The generation under 25 maybe headed for a crisis in 3 to 5 years as these people realize that you really do lose money. What if Budweiser sponsored The World Drinking Tour? Do you think the Travel Channel world air that event?